UNCLE MEAT ========== without movie exerpts :-( dialogues Joined International Transcribing Effort of :-) Vladimir Sovetov Dave Winsor A little bit of Italian Francesco Gentile A few patriotic lines David Thomas The Voice Of Cheese ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cheese: Hello, teenage America, My name is Suzy Creemcheese, I'm Suzy Creemcheese because I've never wron fake eyelashes in my whole life And I never made it on surfing set And I never made it on beatnik set And I couldn't cut the groupie set either And...Um Actually I'm really fucked up in Europe. ( Hrrrrrrrrrr ) Now that i've done it all over and Nobody else will accept me I've come home to my Mothers Dog Breath, In The Year Of The Plague ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (Please, hear my plea) Primer *mi carucha* ( Chevy'39) Going to El Monte Legion Stadium Pick up on my *weesa* ( she is so divine) Helps me stealing hub caps Wasted all the time Fuzzy Dice Bongos in the back My *ship of love* is Ready to attack (Won't ya, please, hear my plea) Louie Louie ~~~~~~~~~~~ Cheese: The first thing that attracted me to the Mothers music Was the fact that they played for twenty minutes Everybody was hissing, and booing, and falling of the dance floor And Elmer was yelling at them to get Off the stage and turn down they're amplifiers FZ: Ah! I know perfect thing to accompany this man's trumpet, None other than the mighty majestic Albert Hall pipe organ You understand that you won't be able to hear the organ once we turn the amplifiers up. All right Don wip it on them Louie Louie They like it loud, do you know? Let's hear again to the London Philharmonic Orchestra Sleepin' In A Jar ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It's the middle of the night And your mommy & your daddy are sleeping It's the middle of the night And your mommy & your daddy are sleeping It's the middle of the night And your mommy & your daddy are sleeping SLEEPING MOM & DAD ARE SLEEPING SLEEPING IN A JAR... ( the jar is under the bed) Our Bizarre Relationship ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FZ: Bizarre Cheese: Bizarre No one could never understand our bizarre relationship, Because I was your intelectual [fridged? frigid?] housekeeper Especially when you would be going to bed with one chic at night And I'd wake in the mornin' and find another one there screamin at me Asking me what the fuck this chic doin' in your bed And I'd walk in and you weren't with the same one you were in night before Oh, I'll never forget that as long as I live That house had your shit all over And we had cats, we had flies, we had lot of crabs That we proceeded to give to everyone in Laurel Canyon except Elmer and Phil, Because they were too sick to ball. Elmer has mentality of approximately One peanut possibly As a matter of fact, I remember Elmer telling me that You really had a lot of talent, but he didn't see how anyone could ever make it Who insisted on sayin' fuck on stage And he used to drive by in his gold Cadillac And peer in window 'Coze he could never get over the amount of groupy status That you had and he didn't Possibly because he's fifty years old and wretched FZ: Ahahaha The Uncle Meat Variations ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ya ya ya ya ya ahhhahahhhhhhhh etc Fuzzy dice & bongos FUZZY DICE I got'em At the Pep Boys... at the BOYYYYYYYYYYS Fuzzy Dice & bongos *Brodie knob & spinners* Chromium plated Ha Ha Ha Electric Aunt Jemima ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Electric Aunt Jemima Goddess of Love Khaki Maple Buckwheats Frizzle on the stove Queen of my heart Please hear my plea Electric Aunt Jemima Cook a bunch for me Tried to find a reason Not to quit my job Beat me till I'm hungry Found a punk to rob Love me Aunt Jemima Love me now & ever more Love me Aunt Jemima Tried to find a raisin Brownies in the basin Monza by the street light Aunt Jemima all night Holiday & salad days And days of mouldy mayonaise Caress me Caress me Aunt Jemima - Mmm why are my lips, are gettin' heavy - I can't tell when you're telling the truth - I'm not. _ How'd I know anything you said to me is ... - You don't. God Bless America ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - Here's one with your father's moustache, the old cookie jar, rubbers, sneakers, galoshes, belt buckles, and book covers with the name of your high school neatly imprinted in crimson and gold on the front cover with a picture of the goal post and last year's queen. God Bless America Land that I love Stand beside her, And guide her, Through the night With the light from Above. Ian Underwood Whips It Out ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ian: My name is Ian Underwood And I am straight member of the group ( Wowie Zowie) One month ago I heard The Mothers of Invention at the theater I heard them on two ocassions And at the second ocassion I went up to Jim Black And I said I like your music, I'd like to come down to play with you. Two days later I came up to the recording session And Frank Zappa was sitting at the control room I walk up and said How'd you do, my name is Ian Underwood and I like you music And I like to play with your group. Frank Zappa says What can you do is fantastic I say I can play alto saxphone and piano And he said All right, wipe it out.... Mr. Green Genes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eat your greens Don't forget your beans & celery Don't forget to bring Your fake I.D. Eat a bunch of these MAGNIFICIENT With saurekraut MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM - Saurekraut! Eat a grape, a fig A crumpete too ... You'll pump 'em right through Doo-wee-ooo Eat your shoes Don't forget the strings And sox Even eat the box Your bought 'em in You can eat the truck That brought 'em in Garbage truck MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMouldy Garbage truck Eat the truck & driver And his gloves NUTRITIOUSNESS DELICIOUSNESS WORTHLESSNESS We Can Shoot You ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - Teee, Teee Paaa Da Peee Dam PaPaPaPaPam Teeee PaPaPam This's our the last one - Yeh, it stays here - Mmm, three, four ... "If We'd All Been Living in California" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - Ok, now you still want to get your name in the magazines And he wants 500 dollars a month. - Where does it come from? We worked one gig this month. - And thats....so what do we get? Two hundred dollars for this gig up here if we're lucky. - If we're lucky, we'll get two hundred. And it will be two weeks before we get it. Probably. - I mean after all, what is all this shit in the newspaper, if we got such a big name, how come....., we're starving man! This fucking band is starving! And we've been starving for three years. I realize it takes a long time but God Damn it! Does it take another five, ten years from now. - There's some months when you're not going to work as much as other months. There's some months when you're going to make a lot of money and if you average it out, you do make more than two hundred dollars a month. - Expenses are sure high to. If we'd all been living in California, it would have been different. - If we'd all been living in California, we wouldn't have worked at all. - Oh, that's true. Well, we're not working now anyway. We worked one gig this month Frank. What's wrong with getting two months in a row of this good money? - Or three months in a row. - Then we could afford to take three of four months off and everybody can...... After the first month I can get just enough ahead but if I had two more months man, I'll get ahead. Because i'm not living very extravagantly, i'll tell you for sure. The Air ~~~~~~~ The air Escaping from your mouth The hair Escaping from your nose My heart Escaping from the scraping And the shaping Of the draping... I'm awaking In a T-shirt In a Chevy At a beach And I'm freezing And I'm wheezing And I know You were only teasing Then I hit you And I beat you And told you That I love you In my car In a jar The air Escaping from your pits The hair Escaping from my teeth My hands Are gripping But they're slipping And they're dripping 'Cause I'm tripping I got busted Coming through customs With a suitcase Full of tapes It was special Tape recording And they grabbed me While I was boarding Then they hit me And they beat me And they told me They don't like me And I crashed In my Nash We can crash In my Nash etc. I must be free My fake I.D. Freeeeees me Gotta do a few things To make my life complete Gotta live my life Out on the street The difference between us Is not very far Cruising for burgers In daddy's new car My phony freedom card Brings to me Instantly ECSTASY Tengo Na Minchia Tanta ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tengo na minchia tanta, tengo na minchia accussi' Devi usare un pollo, devi usare un pollo Se me la vuoi tastar Tengo na minchia tanta, tengo na minchia accussi' Tengo na minchia tanta, tengo na minchia accussi' Devi usare un pollo Se me la vuoi misurar Devi usare un pollo Se me la vuoi tastar Tengo na minchia tanta, tengo na minchia accussi' Tengo na minchia tanta, tengo na minchia accussi' Guarda che se la mangia(4) E mentre se la sta a pappa' Chiedimi che cosa fa Se la sta a succhia' Tengo na minchia tanta, tengo na minchia accussi' Tengo na minchia tanta, tengo na minchia accussi' Devi usare un pollo Devi usare ... se la vuoi misurar Devi usare un pollo Se me la vuoi tastar Tengo na minchia tanta, tengo na minchia accussi' Tengo na minchia tanta, tengo na minchia accussi' Come on baby Come on baby, suck my fire! Oh yeah Guarda che se la mangia Tengo na minchia accussi' Guarda che se la mangia Mentre se la sta a pappa' Chiedimi che cosa fa E' chiaro! se la sta a succhia' Tengo na minchia tanta, tengo na minchia accussi' Guarda che se la mangia Guarda che se la mangia E se la sta a pappa' Darling, darling, darling Look at your sister Do something like that, thanks Devi usare un pollo Devi usarlo per misurar Devi usare un pollo Cosi' me la potrai succhiar Ooh, you both suckin' stereo Jesus Tengo na minchia tanta, tengo na minchia accussi' Tengo na minchia tanta, tengo na minchia tanta Tengo na minchia tanta