@ALBUM: BARGAINVILLE Compiled by: Jeremy Bailin (a260bail@cdf.utoronto.ca) (and no, Green Eggs and Ham is not on Bargainville, reportedly due to copyright wrangles) [excerpts from the sleave] Welcome to Bargainville... Dream rates, values slashed, binge binge binge. Stuff dregged up from the harbour at noon is on the shelves by four. Items priced so low they're practically worthless. Integrity "R" Us. Killing spree in aisle #7. Just do it... And when the last capitalist has chopped down the last tree, you'll still find our "Pine-scent" air freshner on aisle 3. Bargainville... where the future is cheap, and there's plenty to go around. frvous (froo'ves) n 1. Magical monk-baked pastry loaf. 2. High stakes Mesopotamian board game. 3. Sound produced when yogurt dollops are dropped in searing liquid. adj 1. Unflappable (after legendary crusader Marian ~) Multi-legged and aural. see MOXY FRšVOUS For Fan Club info & Frvous Gear write to: 1436 Queen Street West P.O. Box 90005 Toronto, Ontario CANADA M6K 1M2 Moxy Frvous is: Mike Ford Murray Foster Jean Ghomeshi David Matheson All songs written, performed and produced by Moxy Frvous Support your local busker @SONG: RIVER VALLEY Who will save the river valley? That's my drinking water This was once a sacred place, now look at what we've got here I'll pretend there isn't any problem, just do my job And, if I don't like the standard of living, go move to Russia... Me an' Pete went swimming last night, he's my friend from boy scouts All the fish were floating upright, we got scared and we got out Mother says don't play down where your father does his job You know he's got to make a living, or move to Russia... (this is my world, this is my world, don't let it go away is it a crime spending my time dreaming of yesterday?) Meet me in the river valley, you could tell me stories 'Bout a time before pinstripe suits, Dippers, Grits and Tories my mother sang the song her mother taught her we'd be swimming off in cool cool water and when she'd call us from the yard running home it felt like god... Is your favourite place controlled by developing ambitions? Do you think you'll have some power signing a petition? Are you fine with your surroundings? Are they gonna crumble? I'm living in the river valley, come and join me for a tumble? high up above, see on the cars along the viaduct from sunrise to the last call - they push their luck but that would be fine if the world was yours and you were mine Who will save the river valley? Who will save the river valley? Who will save the river valley? Who will save the river valley? @SONG: STUCK IN THE '90s Clem had a daydream, a daydream from heaven Picked up the headline, his country was made up of singers And no more right-wingers He wakes up to "Homeless are stupid, welfare is stupid Private investment, efficiency, cool fiscal plannin'" Sounds like more Pat Buchanan Back in his day job this afternoon Unlikely he'll move down to Cuba soon Reluctant to find he's stuck in the '90s again Clem reads of the old days, twenty years goes a long ways "Challenge the system!" Relating is easy on a demo Now they'll send it by memo 'Cause there's no need for the peace sign, post-republican "Peace time" Join the parade, wave the flag, tell the world it's your lackey Abbie Hoffman was wacky Riding the bike to his foreign car Burning his mind in his VCR Reluctant to find he's stuck in the '90s again Reluctant to find he's stuck in the '90s again and he's lots... don't you know what it's like to be lost? and older... "tears on his shoulder" real men are BOLDER!! Soon I'll be 30, I don't want to be 30 I've got some big plans, Goodwill has some big hands With each new computer screen, the world tells me I'm more green Buy a new Game Boy! For the fun and the fashion... just for the passion Back in his day job this afternoon Unlikely he'll move down to Cuba soon Reluctant to find he's stuck in the '90s again Reluctant to find he's stuck in the '90s again White lies, rich guys hoarding a big prize We've got work to do Reluctant to find he's stuck in the '90s again @SONG: B.J. DON'T CRY From the Frvous quill comes a story tale of love and illin' Romeo found the balconey too high, ended up with second billin' She loved in triplicate, left his heart a blank too fill in Lost his faith imaculate when Cupid became a villain CHORUS: B.J. don't cry no more Wonders what his heart is beating for He says he takes it muhc too hard Give my regards to B.J. In a fit of rage he tore down all her gifts and promises Sick and tired of hearing 'bout those Harry, Dick and Thomases Banished her for life he did, right then and there, from the premises Onle his holy virgin queen, now on the scene, his nemesis CHORUS He thought about his life, his heart began to rush He buried the crown, found a bucket and a brush B.J. paints town... Now on the street our wounded soul is looking quite Gregarial Heart or tin has shed his skin, given it a hefty burial As with logic, as with reason, as with science actuarial Rallied 'round the Frvous flag burnt the kitchen, raised the aerial CHORUS Turn it over little man He took a trip, B.J.'s on a train Far far away, he'll be back again one rainy day So there we have a story lived in person told by proxy 'Bout a mild-mannered mannequin, every Sunday hit the Roxy Till there his own reflection, showed him his orthodoxy Now he hikes the Himalayas, stuffs his letters full of moxie! CHORUS @SONG: VIDEO BARGAINVILLE CHORUS: I have a college pal who Says we can get one price for two Just ask for 'Roger' At Video Bargainville We can take a trip up to the corner, it's not too far especially in our car There's a friendly store with nice decore and lots of posters on the door Once past the counter and the news stand with a free bag of popcorn in your hand You're ready for the world - no, not the band but a fine selection in video land Don't be too confused by the little reviews On the back of the box, just pick up the boxes, all the boxes you can use The hipedi-hoppest videos in the land Maybe something foreign, maybe something panned, maybe something formerly banned Perhaps it's something you can watch with friends or something that inevitably lends Itself to shapely curves and bends of exploited women and their friends Perhaps it's "New York, New York" with Liza Minelli and Mickey Rourke No, that's not right... it was Robert Deniro, everyone's favourite video hero CHORUS So contrary to the desperate sign, most patrons always "Please rewind!" And the clerks don't mind, they're very kind, the only stickler has resigned There's a courteous smoking section at the back, behind the bulging exercise video rack And if you're tired you can hit the sack with a trendy new Ben Hur double pack CHORUS Once we had a friend, was too extravagant Was not a Bargainville fan, pissed off the video man! Soon there will be 'program-your-own' TV so they ask you to heed this final plee Before it's all dead you should rent more, and enjoy VideoBargains galore!! CHORUS @SONG: FELL IN LOVE Something I never would have known Not knowing knowledge never enobles All her ideas were like smoke rings, I had to know things She was a tangle of questions How many eggs make up a pound? How many ears of corn in the niblets? I was a person who would censor "Pee Wee's adventures" She was exceedingly liberal And we fell in love And the sunshine shone from the sunshine above Fell in love, whole loaf love Try not to think while your inside Just keep your wide eyes wide wide open I made a meal of the lighting, this was exciting We had a real urban drama She always said it again Just when she'd said it, that's when she'd say it (how's that again?) She said my pasta was delicious, but repetitious That kind of thing made me crazy And we fell in love And the sunshine shone from the sunshine above Fell in love, whole loaf love Take a look around, the sun has gone down And I've had a good time, have you had a good time? I've loved without loss, I've put down my cross You know what I know, an' I'm goin' go She set my schoolhouse on fire Down in the fire the angels were singing Notice a beautiful fire heavenly choir @SONG: THE LAZY BOY I have a life of pleasure I am suspended in armchair leisure I put my feet on the ottoman (empire) Here in a world of turmoil I have my comfort in control And the answer's reclining (it's obvious) CHORUS: Here I sit and here I say (the lazy boy) "Hello to U.S.A. today!" (the lazy boy) Dollywood and Billy Ray (the lazy boy) A place to pass the time away (the lazy boy) Here I keep tabs on Euro-stocks I have a stereo that rocks! And I take calls in the bathtub (it's cellular) There is a console to my right With reruns of Charlie's Angels every night I can't keep track of the blond one (the third one) CHORUS At the end of the day it's the chair I trust The cushion is comfy and the works don't rust With a straight line of vision to my Elvis bust Watch the kingdom, eat the bread crust Fine all the time is the way I feel Cracking the code of the "Let's make a deal!" I can change my world 'cause my boy's on wheels Improve your lifestyle, you must get real! I was a down and out Canuck Now I have put my faith in lazy luck Since they removed all the barriers (49th parallel) CHORUS @SONG: MY BABY LOVES A BUNCH OF AUTHORS Well you should see my story-reading baby, you should hear things that she says She says "Hon, drop dead, I'd rather go to bed with Gabriel Garcia Marquez" Cuddle up with William S. Burroughs, leave on the light for bell hooks I been flirtin' with Pierre Burton 'cause he's so smart in his books I like to go out dancing My baby loves a bunch of authors My heart's so broke and bleedin' Baby's just sittin' there doin' some readin' So I started watching some TV, played my new CD player too She said "Turn it off or I'll call the cops, and I'll throw the book at you" All this arguing made me get dizzy, called my doctor to came have a look I said "Doctor, hurry!" She said: "Don't worry, I'll be over when I finish my book" I like to go out dancing My baby loves a bunch of authors We've been livin' in hovels Spendin' all our money on brand new novels So I got myself on the streetcar and it drove right into someone The driver said: "I was looking straight ahead!" but he was reading the Toronto Sun So my honey and me go to a counsellor to help figure out what we need She said: "We'll get your love growin', but before we get goin' here's some books I'd like you to read" I like to go out dancing My baby loves a bunch of authors Lately we've had some friction 'Cause my baby's hooked on short works of fiction So we split and went to a party, some friends my girl said she knew But what a sight 'cause it's authors night and the place looks like a who's who Now I'm poundin' the Ouzo - with Mario Puzo Who's a funny fella? - W.P. Kinsella Who brought the cat? - would Margaret Atwood? Who needs a shave? - he's Robertson Davies! Ondartje started a food fight, salmon mousse all over the scene Spilled some dressing on Doris Lessing these writer types are a scream! I like to go out dancing My baby loves a bunch of authors We'll be together for ages Eatin' and sleepin' and turnin' pages @SONG: THE DRINKING SONG CHORUS: And the band played on As the helicopters whirred Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn My senses finally blurred He was a rock, to the end a solid reminder Couldn't deny a friend We lived in the noise and the sweet amber poison Peekin' up the skirt of the end And we'd drink, two gnarly dudes and some records Much like plates of black food We filled up our faces, saw some far places Stood on the roof in the nude CHORUS Between poles, he said "We're like cows in the grass" Brushing off flies Chaise lounging around, standing up, falling down Till we no longer opened our eyes And we'd drink, ever notice how drinking's like war? Cup o' troops o'er the gums To the end of our health, a campaign 'gainst myself Armed with bourbons and rums CHORUS Think of bombs, we're poised on the edge of disaster Whether it's right or it's wrong We opened the window, played some Nintendo Sang a few bars of some pretty old song: Irene goodnight, Irene goodnight Goodnight Irene, goodnight Irene I'll see you in my dreams Oh to dream, those impotent bones of extinction Flying graceful and free None but the best 'cause the man cannot rest Till he's finally beaten his me CHORUS Till the end, he passed out on the sundeck that morning Quietly saying goodbye But I was so hammered I sputtered and stammered Told him he couldn't just die He was a rock, went straight for his own Armageddon Face froze in a grin Ambulance flyin' in, I never drank again Can't really call that a loss or a win CHORUS @SONG: MORPHE Longue journ‚e Qui s'achŠve dans une chambre fonc‚e J'entends au loin les sirenes Qui comme une vague me tirent, m'amŠnent Chez Morph‚e Emerveill‚ Ce doux piŠge Ou les gammes en d‚lire s'arpŠgent M'emportent si loin des villes Et je fuis, je fuis les escadrilles du privilŠge Beau sortilŠge On solde les vieux pays au march‚ des gorilles Cach‚ dans les bras de Morph‚e je rŠgne Nemo en exil Sur mes rˆves fragiles @SONG: KING OF SPAIN Once I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie) Oh... my unspeakable wife, Queen Lisa (now I eat humble pie) I'm telling you I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie) And now I work at the Pizza Pizza Royalty, lord it looked good on me Buried in silk in the royal boudoir or going nuclear free Or playing Crokinole with the Princess of Monaco Telling my jokes to the OPEC leaders, getting it all on video Once I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie) A palatial palace, that was my home (now I eat humble pie) I'm telling you I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie) And now I vacuum the turf at SkyDome (once he was the King of Spain) I can't wait, I'm lowering interest rates, my people say: "King, how are you such a genius? There's a roof overhead and food on our plates!" It's laisez-faire, I don't even give a care Let's make Friday part of the weekend And give every new baby a chocolate eclair Once I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie) Hey Clinton! Hey Yeltsin! Got problems? You phone me (now I eat humble pie) I'm telling you I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie) Now the Leafs call me up to drive the Zamboni (once he was the King of Spain) Now some of you are probably wondering how I cam to be living in Canada after being royalty in Spain. Should I tell them, guys? Tell us, King! You see late one night when the palace was asleep Out of my royal chambers and into the garden I creep And I wait till the appointed time, when the moon is lighting the pitch At which point my peasant friend, who looks just like me Arrives and we make a switch Prince and pauper, junior and whopper World made up of silver and copper Out of my own volition, I took a change of position So next time you drool in the pizza line Remember, slower pizza's more luscious The King of Spain never rushes!!! Once I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble) I was looking for off-handed ways to improve us (now I eat humble pie) I'm telling you I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie) And now I'm jamming with Moxy Frvous! (once he was the King of Spain) @SONG: DARLINGTON DARLING Down the line, comin' down the line a V6 Merc in blue Without the sparks or distributer caps, I'll slap them on as it rides through 8 to 4 on the assembly floor watchin' V6 Mercs slide through I can drive and she can drive, but this car's made for you CHORUS: I'd like to buy her one (where ya gonna get the money son) I'd like to buy her two (but you'll never find the right bijou) I'd like to buy her three (but you're working in a factory And I'd like to buy her more Than this blue collar can afford Down the line, Chipper down the line's got a cottage up on Scugogg Last Christmas bash he spent all his cash plyin' Mr. Bewdley with eggnog He got the raise and from what he says he'll have that love nest paid off soon I got the keys, but my girlfriend, she's not getting off till Sunday noon CHORUS In Darlington lies my darling one - she fills my thoughts each day Half a mile from the cooling towers, I sure hope that she's okay CHORUS @SONG: BITTERSWEET Now all of the planes have landed And the soldiers are in their beds Smoke rises from their clothing And sweet dreams through their heads Truth faced leaves a strange taste When joy and sadness meet A country rain on a city street This life is bittersweet The boy with the bloated belly Hears today's trucks arrive He puts down his baby sister And makes his way outside Truth faced leaves a stragne taste When joy and sadness meet A country rain on a city street This life is bittersweet Everyone's a novelist And everyone can sing But no one talks when the TV's on... The lightening flashed, and the thunder rolled Dark clouds filled the sky A country rain on a city street This life is bittersweet @SONG: LAIKA When I was 3, my mother said to me Eat up your greens and say your grave While on TV they put a dog in space And left here there... you should've seen her face When I was 5, the dream was still alive And Walter Cronkite said: "One day we'll earn our daily bread Conducting things in outer space" But still on earth I thrive... and you pretend I'm not alive And walk by with my substitute While I fasten the oxygen valve on my space suit When I was 8, we shared a cloakrack - it was great And I pretended I had so much on my plate I had a speech to write, about moonshot trajectory And during phonics class, perfected my delivery Now the band's playing "Hail to the Chief" While my capsule's out floating by some tropical reef all the experts can agree on, regarding your motives in the cape canaveral crash... is that they know nothing it puzzles me so... Now I'm full grown, and I've a spacecraft of my own But there you sit, still upon your Earthly throne Hey darling, throw this 'space-pup' a bone Don't touch that dial, don't hang up that phone @SONG: SPIDERMAN Spiderman, Spiderman Friendly neighbourhood Spiderman Is he strong? Listen bud, He's got radioactive blood Hey there, (where?) there goes the Spiderman Spiderman, Spiderman Does whatever a spider can Shooby Doo, rock steady crew Find him an octoped engenue With flair, (hair) there goes the Spiderman In the heat of night at the scene of crime With the speed of light he arrives just in time Well, no red-blooded boy or girl would miss this Sunday's appearance of Spiderman at the local county fair, unless, of course, they're at home with their collections. Spiderman's master plan Build his own little spider clan In the woods, now they're troops Fighting for special interest groups Look out (where?) wherever there's a bang (there) You'll find a great big hang (scare) You'll find the Spiderman Scoobydoobydoobydoobydobow! When the spider sends his tingling Sure is, in such films as: Spidey Goes Speed Racing Spidey Hawaii Spidey's Girl Spidey - My Pal Spidey - The Under Water Adventure Seeker Spidey - The Fun Licker Spiday - A Drink For All Ages @SONG: GULF WAR SONG We got a call to write a song about the war in the Gulf But we shouldn't hurt anyone's feelings So we tried, then gave up, 'cause there was no such song But the trying was very revealing What makes a person so poisonous righteous That they'd think less of anyone who just disagrees? She's just a pacifist, he's just a patriot If I said you were crazy, would you have to fight me? Fighters for Liberty, fighters for Power Fighters for longer turns in the shower Don't tell me I can't fight, 'cause I'll punch out your lights And history seems to agree that I would fight you for me So we read and we watched all the 'specially selected news And we learned so much more 'bout the good guys Won't you stand by the flag? Was the question unasked Won't you join in and fight with the allies? What could we say, we're only 25 years old? With 25 sweet summers and hot fires in the cold That kind of life makes that violence unthinkable We'd like to play hockey, have kids and grow old Fighters for Texaco, fighters for Power Fighters for longer turns in the shower Don't tell me I can't fight 'cause I'll punch out your lights And history seems to agree that I would fight you for me That us would fight them for we He's just a peacenik and she's just a warhawk That's where the beach was, that's where the sea What could we say... we're only 25 years old? And history seems to agree that I would fight you for me That us would fight them for we Is that how it always will be?