@ALBUM: Songs by Dexter Kozen These songs are by Dexter Kozen and have to do with Computer Science, Funding, Academia @SONG: ROLL IN IT (chant) gimme gimme gimme gimme more more more gimme gimme gimme gimme more more more (+drums) gimme gimme gimme gimme more more more gimme gimme gimme gimme more more more solo guitar - 4 bars guitar, drums, bass - 4 bars verse E chorus C E C A CER, they sure fell for our line Industrial affiliates weren't too far behind But they're small change compared to you, my love You've got the kind of loot we're dreaming of We don't care what you make us do We're gonna sell ourselves wholesale to you We wanna be just like CMU We wanna roll in it Can't you feel our bodies ache and yearn To earn the kind of bucks that Dijkstra earns And never mind the social implications When it comes to cash, ain't no deliberation We don't care what you make us do... Hey, check out that robot, if you please It can crush a commie satellite with ease It withstands sustained nuclear barrages And in the lab it even gives massages Berkeley, Stanford, MIT They all sold out, so why don't we? We wanna take off our BVDs And roll in it Hey, talk about your strategy & tactics Ain't nothing like constructive mathematics And if you're hot on natural deduction You can verify your weapons of destruction Berkeley, Stanford, MIT... (guitar solo) gimme gimme gimme gimme more more more gimme gimme gimme gimme more more more gimme gimme gimme gimme more more more gimme gimme gimme gimme more more more Hey Mr. Schultz, you can tell this to the Gipper We got stuff going on, gonna make him split his zipper When he sees all that we've got goin' down He's gonna move the Pentagon to Collegetown We don't care what you make us do... Berkeley, Stanford, MIT... VLSI intro :A E D E: x4 verse :A E D E: x8 F C G D F C E D E chorus :A E D E: x4 F C G D F C E D E extro :A E D E: rpt A E D Byzantine generals leave me cold as ice (oh yeah) I could kiss it all off, you wouldn't have to ask me twice (oh no) And temporal logic's such a bore, it makes me cry (oh yeah) Just pushing symbols on the page, lord, don't ask me why (oh no) I wanna turn back the clock tonight I wanna leave this place behind Come on, baby, let me tell you what's on my mind (oh baby) Why don't we VLSI like we used to do (oh yeah) River routin' with you baby was such a groove (oh yeah) Splittin' signals in a CMOS grid, You know it makes me feel so fine It sends shivers runnin' up and down my spine Now I ain't one to dump no shit on someone else's dream (oh no) But zero-knowledge proofs are just the worst idea I ever seen (on yeah) And voronoi diagrams are not my cup of tea (oh no) And you know what you can do with all those oracles to separate the poly-bleeding-nomial hierarchy, baby It's a desert of abstraction out there It stretches far as the eye can see Come on, baby, take me back to reality (oh baby) Why don't we VLSI like we used to do (oh yeah) All I wanna do is run my wires through your gorgeous grooves (oh yeah) I wanna layout all night long I wanna wrap till the morning light Come on, baby, let's fabricate tonight (a capella) Why don't we VLSI like we used to do (oh yeah) x4 (with instruments) Why don't we VLSI like we used to do (oh yeah) x4 JUST SAY NO intro [E D A] x4 verse [E D A] x8 [C Dsus4 res] x4 [E D A] x2 verse bridge [C Dsus4 res] x8 [E D A] x2 verse last time extra [E D A] x2 E Well you're dancing at a party And you're making all the rounds When he sidles up beside you And he looks you up and down And he says, where have I met you And you say, I just don't know So you dance a couple dances And his lust begins to show Well he smells like aqua velva And his hair is newly mown He says let's go in the closet Where we can be alone Well you can just say no Just say no Well you're working late one evening You've got a fast deadline to meet And the boss comes in in his shirtsleeves No shoes upon his feet Well he seems a little nervous As he discreetly shuts the door He says his wife don't understand him Well you've heard that song before Then he spills a box of paperclips So very carelessly And he kneels down to pick them up With his hand upon your knee Well you can just say no Just say no Well you can look back at your life someday When you're pushing 85 And you can count those precious moments That made it great to be alive Well they didn't come so often They were few and far between And you can say with pride that you let them slide In the name of decency Because you just said no You just said no Baby you know I'm different Well I'm not that kind of man I'm not just interested In another one night stand You know I really want to love you And I really am sincere I'll be sensitive to all your needs And I'll never touch a beer Baby don't let it slip away It's only nature, can't you see We were destined for this moment So baby don't say no to me Baby don't say no Don't say no Don't say no Don't say no ___________________________ @SONG: LIGHT OF DAY intro D verse :D ... F D F A: x 2 (x 1 last time) chorus :D7 G/D D7: x2 (x4 last time) :C D: x3 C G D bridge :A C G: x2 D into solo=chorus I wanna know of love's eternal bliss I wanna feel the passion that I've missed Must be something I've been doing wrong Apathy is getting pretty strong Not like the movies, not like on TV Real exciting things never happen to me Guys are too good looking to be true Women can't be real, cause they're not like you In the light of day In the cold clear light of day I'm so sick of your dirty two-bit shots Where it's at is always where I'm not There's a place for me, but it ain't with you I'd go home to mom, but she hates me too The Bagwan's cake, o mane padme hum All I ever wanted was a little crumb Fancy having 90 Lincolns too I'd be glad with one or maybe two In the light of day In the cold clear light of day (bridge) Dance all night till the sun comes up Sleep the day away I don't care if I don't wake up Just more bills to pay In the light of day (solo over chorus) Down on the beach, there's a rumbling in the sky All alone and no tears left to cry Clouds roll in and the demons start to speak I'll be back to normal in a week Come the light of day Come the cold clear light of day The cold clear light of day The cold clear light of day _____________________________ @SONG: IVORY TOWER verse :Em G C: x3 G B :Em G C: x3 G B chorus :D Am Em: x2 D C G B extro Em G C D Em intro=verse verse 1 chorus verse 2 chorus guitar solo verse 2 chorus extro Professor, you've been babbling for an hour Immune from life outside your ivory tower Your arguments are slick and error-free They may make sense to you but not to me Your theorems cannot feed a hungry mouth Your lemmas can't erase mistrust and doubt Your corollaries are so squeaky-clean Has anybody asked you what they mean? Ignorance was surely bliss There must be more to science than this No longer shall I be impressed No longer is my soul possessed I came for wisdom and philosophy Instead I found deferred reality Relevance is nowhere to be found Common sense is six feet underground Politicians lead us to the sea Fanatics kill each other off with glee If war broke out, I would not be surprised Perhaps the syllabus should be revised Maybe I'll return someday Then I could while the hours away Chronicling my thoughts and deeds In journals no one ever reads __________________________ @SONG: JUST SAY NO intro :E D A: x4 verse :E D A: x8 :C D: x4 :E D A: x2 verse bridge :C D: x8 :E D A: x2 verse last time extra :E D A: x2 E Well you're dancing at a party And you're making all the rounds When he sidles up beside you And he looks you up and down And he says, where have I met you And you say, I just don't know So you dance a couple dances And his lust begins to show Well he smells like aqua velva And his hair is newly mown He says let's go in the closet Where we can be alone Well you can just say no Just say no Well you're working late one evening You've got a fast deadline to meet And the boss comes in in his shirtsleeves No shoes upon his feet Well he seems a little nervous As he discreetly shuts the door He says his wife don't understand him Well you've heard that song before Then he spills a box of paperclips So very carelessly And he kneels down to pick them up With his hand upon your knee Well you can just say no Just say no Well you can look back at your life someday When you're pushing 85 And you can count those precious moments That made it great to be alive Well they didn't come so often They were few and far between And you can say with pride that you let them slide In the name of decency Because you just said no You just said no Baby you know I'm different Well I'm not that kind of man I'm not just interested In another one night stand You know I really want to love you And I really am sincere I'll be sensitive to all your needs And I'll never touch a beer Baby don't let it slip away It's only nature, can't you see We were destined for this moment So baby don't say no to me Baby don't say no Don't say no Don't say no Don't say no _________________________ @SONG: CASCADILLA intro :Em C G D: x3 C G D verse :Em C G D: x7 C G D chorus C Em C G D C Em :C G D: x3 C Rachel take my hand, walk beneath the trees See the sunlight dancing through the leaves Feel the autumn breeze upon you blow Hear the splashing of the stream below Now they want to take it all away 100,000 years in just one day To build a paper castle in the sky Now I think it's time Now I think it's time Now I think it's time To draw the line Rachel take my hand, walk beneath the stars These are men whose schemes have gone too far Once their egos reach a certain size They must harness Nature as their prize They would build a shrine where pilgrims come To pay them homage for the deeds they've done And pray unto a giant dead machine And then they wonder why And then they wonder why And then they wonder why I prefer the green Rachel take my hand, let me see you smile Walk with me along the gorge awhile __________________________ @SONG: I WANNA BE PROMOTED (to the tune of "I Wanna Be Sedated" by The Ramones) intro E verse :E A E: x2 :B E: x3 A B chorus :E A B E: x2 E key change--up 1 step at various random times Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours a day I wanna be promoted You gave me a job, now don't take it away I wanna be promoted I wrote 100 papers, they're spilling out the drawer I built a walking robot, it's walking out the door I've served on 12 committees, but still you ask for more Please please please please please Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam I wanna be promoted Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam I wanna be promoted Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours a day I wanna be promoted I wanna leave Fairview Heights someday I wanna be promoted I write my students' theses without acknowledgment I bring in major funding, but I can't pay the rent My lab is nonexistent, my office is a tent Why why why why why Bam bam bam, etc. Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours a day I wanna be promoted I can't see what's standing in the way I wanna be promoted I'm editor of TOPLAS, I'm program chair of STOC, Last week I gave a series of 12 distinguished talks I've written seven volumes on synchronizing clocks Tick tick tick tick tick Bam bam bam, etc. Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours a day I wanna be promoted Gimme a break, and please let me stay I wanna be promoted I go to lunch each weekday with all the senior folks I eat that dreadful garbage and try hard not to choke And afterwards at coffee, I laugh at Juris' jokes Yawn yawn yawn yawn yawn Bam bam bam, etc. Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours a day I wanna be promoted My soul is in torment, that's all I can say I wanna be promoted My future's in the balance, and tenure is the key If I don't get promoted, what will become of me? I'll have to wait on tables, or work at Odyssey No no no no no Bam bam bam, etc. _________________________ @SONG: EVARISTE intro E :E B/D# D A/C# E: verse :E B/D# D A/C# E A E/G# G E E: G D/F# F E G D/F# F E (2nd verse: G D/F# Dm/F A) bridge A ... E A ... extro G D/F# Dm/F A pen dry, hand aching red sky, dawn breaking candle low, fever high today I'm going to die Evariste sweet song in my ear that no one else could hear got it down, but there's no time no time to make it rhyme Evariste (bridge) blood pound, adrenalin run turn round, face to the sun raise arm, point gun so much left undone Evariste (extro--solo guitar) ____________________________ @SONG: SHORT TERM PROFIT intro :A C/G E: x4 verse :A C/G E: x8 chorus Dm Am Dm into verse 3rd chorus, going into solo Dm Am Dm E solo :A C/G E: x8 :A C/G E: x4 half time extro :A C/G E: x2 A Let's rape Mother Nature Let's burn some trees Let's pour a lot of concrete Wherever we please Let's build a shopping mall And another one beside it Let's doze those trees So they can't hide it Develop Markets Realize Your potential We need more bridges We need more roads We need more semis With oversize loads Let's burn more oil Let's burn more coal Let's burn the competition Let's bank a roll Consolidate Your interests While the lights Are active To market to market To buy a fat pig Pork belly futures Jiggedy jig Let's trade some options Let's trade some bullion Gimme some credit About 16 million Exploit Natural resources Exploit Everything (solo) It's a high tech fantasy It's an artificial heaven We can fly to nirvana In a 747 We can eat cosmetics We can drink diesel cola We can sell some bombs To the Ayatollah Establish Priorities Maximize Short term profit ____________________________ @SONG: ROLL IN IT verse E chorus C E C A intro--chant gimme gimme gimme gimme more more more x4 (+drums after 2) CER, they sure fell for our line Industrial affiliates weren't too far behind But they're small change compared to you, my love You've got the kind of loot we're dreaming of We don't care what you make us do We're gonna sell ourselves wholesale to you We wanna be just like CMU We wanna roll in it Can't you feel our bodies ache and yearn To earn the kind of bucks that Dijkstra earns And never mind the social implications When it comes to cash, ain't no deliberation We don't care what you make us do... Hey, check out that robot, if you please It can crush a commie satellite with ease It withstands sustained nuclear barrages And in the lab it even gives massages Berkeley, Stanford, MIT They all sold out, so why don't we? We wanna take off our BVDs And roll in it Hey, talk about your strategy & tactics Ain't nothing like constructive mathematics And if you're hot on natural deduction You can verify your weapons of destruction Berkeley, Stanford, MIT... (guitar solo) gimme gimme gimme gimme more more more x4 Hey Mr. Schultz, you can tell this to the Gipper We got stuff going on, gonna make him split his zipper When he sees all that we've got goin' down He's gonna move the Pentagon to Collegetown We don't care what you make us do... Berkeley, Stanford, MIT... _______________________ @SONG: VLSI intro :A E D E: x4 verse :A E D E: x8 F C G D F C E (D E) chorus :A E D E: x4 F C G D F C E (D E) extro :A E D E: rpt A E D Byzantine generals leave me cold as ice (oh yeah) I could kiss it all off, you wouldn't have to ask me twice (oh no) And temporal logic's such a bore, it makes me cry (oh yeah) Just pushing symbols on the page, lord, don't ask me why (oh no) I wanna turn back the clock tonight I wanna leave this place behind Come on, baby, let me tell you what's on my mind (oh baby) Why don't we VLSI like we used to do (oh yeah) River routin' with you baby was such a groove (oh yeah) Splittin' signals in a CMOS grid, You know it makes me feel so fine It sends shivers runnin' up and down my spine Now I ain't one to dump no shit on someone else's dream (oh no) But zero-knowledge proofs are just the worst idea I ever seen (on yeah) And voronoi diagrams are not my cup of tea (oh no) And you know what you can do with all those oracles to separate the poly-bleeding-nomial hierarchy, baby It's a desert of abstraction out there It stretches far as the eye can see Come on, baby, take me back to reality (oh baby) Why don't we VLSI like we used to do (oh yeah) All I wanna do is run my wires through your gorgeous grooves (oh yeah) I wanna layout all night long I wanna wrap till the morning light Come on, baby, let's fabricate tonight (a capella) Why don't we VLSI like we used to do (oh yeah) x4 (with instruments) Why don't we VLSI like we used to do (oh yeah) x4