@ALBUM: Praire Home Invasion Artist: Jello Biafra and Mojo Nixon with the Toadliquors 1994 Alternative Tentacles Records Produced by Marshall Lawless and Tri-State Kill Spree Johnson Personnel: Jello Biafra: Vocals Mojo Nixon: Vocals, guitars, harmonica, banjo, tambourine Pete (Wet Dawg) Gordon: Piano, organ, accordion, backing vocals Wid (The Jinx) Middleton: Drums, percussion, backing vocals Sean (Weasel) McCarthy: Bass/sleeping ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @SONG: Buy My Snake Oil (Jello Biafra) I'm gettin' tired of being Legendary and broke And I'm too damn weird To hold no straight job My checkbook's feelin' unfulfilled Being an old underground die-hard Won't pay the kids' dental bills My dad sez I Gotta learn to compromise So I figure now's about that time Now that I've run out of things to say That alone will make my music pay Buy my snakeoil I used to be so angry I ain't gettin' any younger Now I'm eager to please C'mon and buy my snake oil Til my well runs stinking dr7 I'll be your Rondo Hatton I'll be your Dwight Frye Get mighty jealous watchin' My old roomates gettin' signed The world owes me a living I want my taste of the pie Woh-oh oh-oh Buy my snake oil Meet my new band: Tis, Ass and Money The most deliberately watered down Meaningless music I have ever made Sing about myself 'stead of what's goin' on Company tells me how my records should sound Do what my manager tells me to Every inch a rockin' dude Random shuffling, same old cards Bring on the night, she done me wrong I love my weenie and I love my car Man it's such hell being a star I'll tour til you wish I'd go home Moan about my life on the road 200 overdubs to sound sincere >From now on every album sleeve's Just a great big picture of me Buy my snake oil Critics cheer how I've matured Got top management behind me, man Phone rings like never before "I grew up on your stuff, man It means so much to me I can hear it jinglin' now In commercials sellin' beer I got wiggle girl videos In heavy rotation If I dye my skin white enoguh I'll buy me the elephant man" Woh-oh oh-oh Buy my snake oil And remember You got what you pay for And if that doesn't work I got another idea Now that I've signed on the bottom line I'll call my music "Alternative" (R) Same word those lovely people used To hype the Knack in 1980 Join the College dollar emo-jangle Spoiled white music for spoiled white people Pat those slackers on the head To stroke and profit off their fears "Yeh, man, it's OK Feel sorry for yourself all day Life sucks 'cos it ain't easy Happiness should be handed to me..." Buy my snake oil Cleansed of vision and sense I'll bet your bottom dollar You'll let me get away with this I'll be your pregnant junkie Help you sell cigarettes Or a lonely tortured muscle hunk That no one understands Punk without rebellion We'll call it Grunge (R) for you I'll dress just like Don Henley And sing just like him too Boo hoo-oo hoo hoo-oo-hoo Boo hoo-oo hoo hoo-oo-hoo Boo hoo-oo hoo hoo-oo-hoo Boo hoo-oo hoo hoo-oo-hoo Down by the stream Where my babe left me I stand in my flannel shirt Looking confused A voice in the buses Says, "You got that look... I'm from Geffen Records How'd ou like a million bucks..?!?" Oh woh woh poor pitiful me Born white in the world's richest country I can't have my way, life is so depressing Nothing's as important as me And "my" girl And if that still doesn't work I got another idea Give in Ride the punk nostalgia wave For all it's worth Recycle the name of my old band For a big reunion tour Sing all those "hits' from the good old days 'Bout how bad the good old days were And the orthodox Fudamentalism faction of the crowd Will say, "Horrary!" How politically correct He's quit trying different ideas at last Obeying the same kind of stodgy rules Punk used to rebel against Buy my snake oil This is all I've got to say Bought it once, now buy it twice Repackaged on CD Yeh, keep on buying my snakeoil Til my well runs stinking dry I'll be your institution Until the day I die Who cares if inspiration's gone It's safe in this here stall I'll give the fans just what they want And nothing else at all Woh-oh oh-oh oh Buy my snake oil Woh-oh oh-oh oh Buy buy buy b-b-b-buy buy My snake oil And remember I did it all for the scene ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @SONG: Where Are We Gonna Work (When the Trees Are Gone?) (Darryl Cherney) Well I come from a long line Of tree falling men And this company town was here Before my grandpappy settled in We kept enough trees a-standin' So our kids could tow the line NBut now a big corporation came and bought us out Got us working overtime CHORUS But tell me Where are we gonna work When the trees are gone Will the big boss have us wash his car Or maybe mow his lawn I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a lumberjack man But I hear it ain't for long Where are we gonna work When the trees are gone? Now these corporate mergers Make no sense to me But they got this junk bond debt to pay So we're clear-cutting all the trees Now that old fishin' hole Where I used to take my son We trashed it out last Monday morn Oh Lord, what have we done CHORUS Now these Wall Street money men They got me MAD I've got a family to feed and falling trees Is the only job I ever had Say now folks, we just can't stad here While this slash and burn goes on We've got to slow down this big corporation Before all the trees are gone CHORUS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @SONG: Convoy in the Sky (Billy Clark) The night was dark and stormy And the roads were wet with rain As Jimmy Jones rolled on and on His destination Maine He'd like to stop and rest awhile But the freight just wouldn't keep His body ached his mind felt numb His eyes had closed with sleep He thought about the tiime he lost With a woman Mary Lou And then his thoughts turned to his wife He'd promised he'd be true Temptation had stepped in his path And he had failed the test But if he stopped he knew his conscience Wouldn't let him rest CHORUS Roll along (roll along) Roll along (roll along) Convoy in the sky Convoy in the sky There in the night he saw the lights A truck stop just ahead One cup of coffee he would have Enough to clear his head As he stepped on the running board Strange music he did hear And suddenly before his eyes The truck stop disappeared There in it's place a trailer sat The color black as death And seated there beneath the wheel Sat the devil himself And Jimmy's heart was filled with fear For there before his eyes A caravan of trailers came A rollin' through the skies CHORUS The riders told of deeds they'd done And detours they had made Now driving for the devil Was the price that they had paid There is no time to stop and rest He heard the devil cry As he led that convoy on across The dark and stormy sky CHORUS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @SONG: Atomic Power (Fred Kirby) O' this world is a at a tremble With its strength and mighty power They're sending up to heaven To get the brimstone fire Take warning my dear brother Be careful how you plan You're working with the power Of God's own holy hand CHORUS Atomic power Atomic power Was given by the mighty hand of God Atomic power Atomic power Was given by the mighty hand of God You remember two great cities In a distant foreign land When scorched from the face of earth The power of Japan Be careful my dear brother Don't take away the joy But use it for the good of man And never to destroy CHORUS Hiroshima, Nagasaki Paid a big price for their sins When scorched froom the face of earth Their battle could not win But on that day of judgment When comes a greater power We will not know the minute And we will not know the hour CHORUS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @SONG: Are You Drinkin' with Me Jesus (Mojo Nion/Country Dick Montana) I saw you sittin' there I was tryin' not to stare I wasn't sure if it was you I didn't know just what to do CHORUS Are you drinkin' with me Jesus I can't see you very clear Are you drinkin' with me Jesus Would you buy a friend a beer As I nestled on my barstool I felt your warmness within I looked down at my pants That wasn't warmness I wet myself again CHORUS Does your head pound, Jesus As hung over you do rise How does paradise look, Jesus Through holy bloodshot eyes Should we take a cab home Jesus Man, we can hoof it from here I know you can walk on the water But can you walk on this much beer Are you drinkin' with me Jesus I can't see you very clear ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @SONG: Love Me, I'm a Liberal (Phil Ochs/Jello Biafra/The Toadliquors) I cried when they shot John Lennon Tears ran down my spine And I cried when I saw "JFK" As though I'd lost a father of mine But Malcolm X and Ice-T had it coming They got what they asked for this time CHORUS So love me, love me, love me I'm a liberal I go to pro-choice rallies Recycle my cans and jars I'll honk if you love the Dead Hope those funny grunge bands become stars But don't talk about revolution That's going a little bit too far CHORUS I cheered when Clinton was chosen My faith in the system reborn I'll do anything to save our schools If my taxes ain't too much more And I love blacks and gays and Latinos As long as they don't move next door CHORUS Rush Limbaugh and the L.A.P.D. Should all hang their heads in shame I can't understand where they're at Arsenio should set them straight But if Neigborhood Watch doesn't know you I hope the cops take your name CHORUS Yeh, I read the New Republic(an) Rolling Stone and Mother Jones too If I vote it's a Democrat With a sensible economy view But when it comes to terrorist Arabs There's no one more red, white and blue CHORUS Once I was young and had an attitude Stickers covered the car I drove in Even went on some direct actions When there weren't rent-a-cops to be seen Ah, but now I've grown older and wiser And that's why I'm turning you in CHORUS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @SONG: Burgers of Wrath (Jello Biafra) Crossin' the land On vacation Saw lots of families So much like ours All they got left Piled in their cars Can't get those desperate faces off our minds Mm-hm hm-hm hmmmm But now we're stuck On that same road Company shipped our jobs To Mexico Soup is good food You made a good meal But do't blame us Blame the Japanese Hee-hee hee-hee hee-hee Seasons of rust Age of decline Make cars that fall apart People get wise More sour greaps that never Turn into wine Just burgers of wrath Reached the Northwest Ther's nothin' left Forest strip-mined away The fish are dead Executives Twist things around Got people they wiped out All blaming owls Hoo-hoo hoo-hoo hoo-hoo The ranger says she hates to As she kicks us out Our 30 days are up At this campground Tourist yell, "Get a job!" There's none around Just burgers of wrath Par for the curse We're on the streets Whole family beggin' change In Fog City New job don't mean Roof o'er our heads Can't save nough For first and last month's rent Heh-heh heh-heh heh-heh Try not to snap Don't hit the kids It's bad enough Growin' up like this A stronger space Guard shines a light We huddle in our locker Quiet as mice Just like mice We've even got Tuberculosis on the rise Thousand more banks fail Yet the crisis is denied President says, "Sacrifice..." There's no new deal this time Just burgers of wrath More burgers of wrath ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @SONG: Nostalgia for an Age That Never Existed (Jello Biafra) Fake '50s clothes Fake '50s food Classic gas-guzzling dream cars In more ads on the tube Fake home-made cookies Like mommy usedto make Nostalgia for an age That never existed Do you remember Art-deco knick-knacks and flings The stars on the silver screen Made you forget Hooverville View the world Through Time-Life and Nick at Nite Nostalgia for an age That never existed All the stars had a pretty face Children and Negroes knew their place Blocks of happy families With moms and dads all in love Or are these wholesome memories Really from reruns on TV ANd ads in old garage sale magazines Fake sixiteis Mask our leaders' sleaze Is it really a new beiginning With confederate Kennedys? Fake Camelot Before everything went wrong Nostalgia for an age That never existed Do you remember The Summer of Love Vietnam, mini-skirts and drugs Rebellion was so much fun Tell your own kids Just Say No to that Nostalgia for an age That never existed Turn that MTV racket off So your folks can listen to "classic" rock Mellow out to the same old songs Again and again and again Do you wonder or even care How you wound up such a square If ya can't stand the Big Chill Get out of the freezer Can't stand the Big Chill Get out of the freezer everything old is new again It all comes back, jsut wait your turn But somehow the magic's always missing Giving up on future dreams To dwell on rosy memories Will make sure your best days Are in the past Nostalgia for an age that never existed Nostalgia for an age that never existed Do yo uremember Being the first punk in your town Outlaw #1 For the t-shirt you had on Now you stay home Mad at the whole scene For refusing to freeze In 1983 Why can't all the old bands reform Stick to playing their old songs It ain't punk If it ain't just like the old days That was then, this is now Suckling up to the sacred cow Can leave ya stuck in the mud With its remains Nostalgia for an age that never existed Nostalgia for an age that never existed ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @SONG: Hamlet Chicken Plant Disaster (Mojo Nixon) Down in Hamlet, North Carolina They had a chicken plant sure did explode Them tar heels trapped like burnin' rats Cuz the boss man chained the door closed My mama was born in A town called Hamlet Sleepy little place on the Seaboard line My papa worked on the railroad And my granny went out her mind One day the railroad It went busted Like Richmond County ain't broke enough So this Yankee carpetbagger Figured to make a little money on Hamlet's bad luck Buildt a brand new chicken fixin' plant And they paid that minimum wage But the boss man said no unions Or he'd move his plant far away Merele Etta Johnson She was late for work Heard a thunderin' roar out on the highway Musta been NASCAR over at Rockingham Or just Merle Etta's judgment day 8:15 in the mornin' Chicken plant burst into flames People trampled, squashed and burned up Just to keep the profit margin One iota higher everybody gotta work in this world Some folks lucky-some folks ain't But that bastard that chained the doors shut I'm gonna rip him through p!!!!!! When I was a little boy With a buzzsaw hair cut Go down to Hamlet, watch the trains Now the tourists stop on the ighway Get a little look at the chicken plant workers' remains ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @SONG: Mascot Mania (Jello Biafra/Mojo Nixon) When I was young Saw football games At the great big stadium Could tell the fans >From out of town By the clown suits they had on 20,000 red cowboy hats Means Cornhuskers to you Mickey Mouse beans With tiger ears Shows you cheer ol' Mizzou Let's not forget the Razorbacks >From the U. of Arkansas With plastic pig snouts On their heads Soon eeeing, "How 'bout them Hawgs?" CHORUS That's Mascot Mania Mascot Mania Uh-huh Uh-huh Mascot Mania Mascot Mania Uh-huh Uh-huh I work all week At a job I hate Where everything goes wrong Weekend's what I live for To your church I belong I cross the street in San Francisco When a chump comes out of a bar Yellin', "Forty-Fuckin' Niiners, man" With his gold and red jacket on In Cleveland throwing dog biscuits Shows how much ya love them Browns While Bronco fans just hang their heads When the Super Bowl comes around Raider jacket dollars Got the White Sox wearin' black Statues of Joe Paterno Sold in gift shops at Penn State That's Mascot Mania Don't make fun of religious rituals In any place Lord help you if you laugh While they do this with a straight face Outside of the United States It gets even more bizarre In Tokyo they got a baseball team They call the Carp The Salmonnbellies are the pride of New Westminster, B.C. C'mon, Greg Wrckman, what's a Hoosier? And why do they throw chairs? When Sudbury, Ontario's Hockey team scores a goal They drag a stuffed wolf Cross the ice A fan shot at it once, ya know That's Mascot Mania Blue Streak Horned Frogs Long Horns Trojans Someone better tell Tipper Gore 'Bout the names of these here teams Tar Heels Garnecocks Blue Devils Crimson Tide Real Indians Sick of Redskins And Tomahawk chops It seems to me That to stay mean These names should change with time The NEw York Muggers Detroit Murders And Chicago Mob Boston Bigots Texas Swindlers And the L.A. Cops Miami Drugs New Jersey Dumps Take on the Denver Smog Seattle Fads New Orleans Hoods Milwaukee Cannibals San Diego Jarheads ANd the Arizona Drought That's Mascot Mania Uh-huh Uh-huh Go Carp, go! Salmonbellies rule! Hit 'em harder cops! But a hockey team called the Mighty Ducks? Aw, man. Heads explode when Dallas Oswalds Meet Washington Bribes Home team bands play "Cop Killer" When L.A. comes to town Pittsburgh Polluters Houston Drive-Bys Don't stir near the fear When the Florida Abortion Bombers Meets the San Francisco Queers That's Mascot Mania Uh-huh Uh-huh Anywhere ya go The game's the same old thing Bet your money on the Bribes They always win ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @SONG: Let's Go Burn Ole Nashville Down (Mojo Nixon) Let's go burn ole Nashiville down Set it all aflame BBQ the greedheads Made country weak and tameBurn burn Nash Vegas Char it's rancid soul Burn burn Branson too Make a big black hole Country music is killing itself Tryin' to be what it ain't Garth Brooks sells as many as Manilow Lee Greenwood is a saint Burn burn Jimmy Bowen Damn your puny soul Burn burn Jimmy Bowen Country can't be sold Any fool can wear a hat ANd not move when they play But the lonesome howl of the white trash wolf Can't be heard today Burn burn the fake cowboys The Vegas showbiz shit Burn burn Branson too Sold your soul for a hit Let's go burn ole Nashville down Burn it to the ground Let's go burn ole Nashville down Save the country sound Burn burn soulless swine Crossover igit pukes Burn burn lyin' cheaters Country don't have flutes ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @SONG: Will the Fetus Be Aborted (Darryl Cherney/Judi Bari) Peggy Sue Got pregnant And was addicted to fifteen drugs She went down To the abortion clinic And was accosted By right wing thugs CHORUS Oh will the fetus Be aborted By and by Lord By and by There's a better Home awaiting In the sky Lord In the sky Little Mary Was just eleven And she was raped By her own dad Danny Quayle said "Have that baby" But another choice She said CHORUS Annie's pregnancy Would kill her Doctor'rs warning Gave her strife Fudnamentalists Said "Jesus take her" She said, "I want My right to life" CHORUS Kathy had two Kids already And an abortion Is what she chose Christian showed her A bloody fetus She said "That's fine I'll have one of those." CHORUS Tanya lived for Revolution Wanted to overthrow The state She had fifteen Commie babies Phylis Schlafly Ain't that great? Or will the fetus Be aborted... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @SONG: Plastic Jesus (Trad.; arr. by Mojo Nixon) Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes Long as I have my plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Through all trials and tribualtions We will travel every nation With my plastic Jesus I'll go far CHORUS Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Through all trials and tribulations We will travel every nation With my plastic Jesus I'll go far Riding down a thorooughfare With his nose up in the air A wreck may be ahead, but He don't mind Trouble coming He don't see He just keeps His eye on me ANd any other thing that lies behind Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus Riding on the dasboard of my car Though the sunshine on his back Makes Him peel, chip and crack A little patching keeps Him up to par When pedestrians try to cross I let them know who's boss I never blow the horn or give them warning I ride all over town Trying to run them down And it's seldom that they live to see the morning Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car His halo fits just right And I use it for sight And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far If I weave around at night And the police think I'm tight They'll never find my bottle, though they ask Plastic Jesus shelters me For His head comes off, you see He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Ride with me and have a dram Of the blood of the Lamb Plastic Jesus is a holy bar Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car But I think he'll have to go His magnet ruins my radio And if we wreck he'll leave a scar Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Once His robe was snowy white Not it isn't quite so bright Stained by the smoke of my cigar ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------ Eric Wincentsen 267@ef.gc.maricopa.edu Glendale Community College Glendale, Arizona "Let's get the baby high!!"